Have been trying to avoid this

Since my transfer I have been trying to avoid posting here, because I know that many of my friends read my posts. However, I feel the need to vent. My beta is tomorrow, which will be 14dp5dt or about 4wks and 5 days pregnant. Yes, I have been getting positive tests for over a week now. They started showing positive on 5dp5dt, or 10dpo, which is very early. The FRER tests now are ao dark that the test line is darker than the control line. 

See? This is from today (13dp5dt). It showed up almost as soon as I put it down. The CBE digitalis look like this: 

Pretty cool right? 

Well my frustration is that I have had a few episodes of spotting. Once on 8dp5dt which lasted most of the day but was gone by the next day-all brown to pink. The next started yesterday and has continued into this morning- again brown, chunkiness. Yuck! So obviously I freak out every time. How can you not? I haven't had a beta yet, and every pregnancy I have ever had has ended in miscarriage. Everything I have read, and believe me I have read everything, says that bleeding or spotting in early pregnancy is common, especially in women who underwent IVF. I also have read that using the endometrin suppositories can cause spotting due to irritating the cervix. That makes sense because sometimes I have to really jam it up there and my cervix is clearly in the way. I also read that in early pregnancy the inner lining of the cervix can "roll out" a little becoming exposed and therefore more susceptible to "trauma". Isn't it crazy? Even though I know all this, however, it's just hard to not freak out. I'm taking things one day at a time and trying to be ready for the worst. 

Symptoms: 

-Extreme fatigue-extreme. 

-Nausea after eating. Almost every time I eat. The preggie pop drops are a lifesaver. Seriously couldn't make it through the day without. 

-Constant, annoying, headache. Not a migraine, just there. It makes it difficult to do anything. I'm sure the impending thunderstorms aren't helping this situation. 

-Usually my bbs are very sensitive in the afternoon/evening. 

-have been experiencing some on and off cramping, for lack of a better word. It's like I have a needle going into my uterus. It's very localized discomfort and doesn't last long. I'm hoping it's just stretching :-/

So...fingers crossed. I can't wait to find out my results tomorrow but more importantly see my doubling time on the second beta.