Friday, April 18, 2014

5w2d

I wish I could just be pregnant like a normal person and live in lala land and be flowing and excited about the babies I'm growing. Not so lucky. I have had two miscarriages back to back and now I'm terrified every time something changes. So last night after going to the bathroom I had some light red/brown spotting. It went away overnight then returned more this morning. I decided to play doctor and add an extra progesterone. By the afternoon it was gone again. I couldn't shake the impending feeling of "it's all over". I googled my battery away twice in one day. I know that I'm very early in this pregnancy and that symptoms can come and go. I know that I've been doing nothing but lounging on the couch and therefore am not quite as tired as I was. I know that the spotting is probably from the progesterone inserts or straining, but I can't seem to get a grip on my anxiety. If I weren't pregnant I would have a glass of wine and try to relax. However, lol, I cannot do that!! 

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